The following is the 7th in a series of talks by one of our employees relating the amazing healing power and love of God in her life.
Over the years, I have accumulated quite a collection of rosaries…some very old and well prayed, some very pretty, some having sentimental value. Some have hung on the walls in my home, but, it wasn’t until about 2 ½ years ago that I actually felt “Our Lady’s Lasso” tugging at me from the dark recesses of the dresser drawer. I pulled one out, found a “How to” booklet, and began to pray. And I prayed the rosary each day for the next 2 ½ years and continue this practice to this day. I have come to understand that the Holy Rosary, given to us by Our Lady in the early 13th century, is one of the Catholic Church’s greatest treasures and a powerful weapon against evil, converting sinners and obtaining graces for the just. Praying the Rosary allowed my relationship with Christ to deepen as I meditated upon the mysteries of His incarnation, passion, death and resurrection, not to mention the prayers for others I could offer on each of the 59 beads. That covers a lot of intentions!
My prayer life was growing and deepening. Prayer became my language of love to the Lord. I began to count my blessings, rather than dwell on my sufferings. And He drew me closer and closer. I began to reach out from beyond myself to the needs of others. So many people need our prayers, yet we become so self focused in our day to day lives, we forget. God began to answer me in ways that made me so aware of the awesome power of prayer in my life. He was listening and answering, not always as I had hoped or expected, but He was answering, and I began trusting in Him, listening to Him and surrendering my will to His. This process certainly has not been easy for me.
The tug of war of my will vs. His will had just begun. I wanted to “let go and let God”, but my ego did not want to surrender to the unknown. I was holding on tight to that which was familiar and I needed to feel I was in control of my own life. I was too afraid of where God might lead me. What if I didn’t want to go there? The problem was, I wouldn’t find the peace and joy I was praying for as long as I held on to this need to control all the events of my life and I would continue to be weighed down by so much burden on a daily basis. I can be pretty strong willed, so God’s task was not an easy one with me. He tugged and I tugged back, for quite some time. Finally, I don’t know how it happened, I just let go, reached out for His hand and was consumed by an indescribable peace and joy and felt His infinite love envelop me. This was God’s gift to me on Christmas morning 2006. It was the most beautiful gift I had ever received. I was moving forward on my journey, but I would face many bumps in the road as I continued on.
May His Peace find you,