What I Learned on the Way to the Catholic MarketingTrade Show

  1. Just because your plane leaves four hours earlier for Birmingham than your co-worker doesn’t mean you will actually get there before him.
  2. The Charlotte, NC airport has rocking chairs all over to give it that homey Southern ambiance. Unfortunately, fresh squeezed lemonade isn’t included.
  3. If you want to know what food prices would be like if liberals were able to pass all the regulations they want to to keep you “safe”, try buying food at an airport. $7 for a sub sandwich? $2.80 for a bottle of water? I don’t think so.
  4. When the captain says that the flight normally takes one hour and nine minutes but that there is a 120 mph headwind so it might be longer, don’t think “Isn’t that hurricane speed?” Just sit back and relax. This is normal.
  5. Airline Security is like the X-Files – what may work one week inexplicably doesn’t work the next. For example:
    1. For a while it was possible to create an explosive device out of any size container of gel, aerosol or liquid. Now, it is impossible to create an explosive with one quart or less worth of liquids, gels or aerosols.
    2. Explosives can’t be created with things that look like baby food, medications or breast milk.
    3. The metal detector says that my belt no longer is a security threat even though there is more metal in it than in some knives.
    4. My laptop no longer needs to be turned on for security to assess if it is a threat or not.
    5. At some airports, showing a boarding pass and id at the gate is optional.
  6. Buying a ticket doesn’t mean you get a seat, it means that you get to sit by the gate and hope for a seat. Fortunately, I hoped more than some other people.
  7. USA Today puts pharmacists who refuse to to distribute abortifacient contraceptives on the same moral level as Muslim cab drivers who refuse to carry passengers with alcohol. I guess in a society where kids are a commodity instead of a gift they can be on the same value level with a good bottle of single malt scotch.
  8. La Quinta: Spanish for “bad coffee”.

One Response to What I Learned on the Way to the Catholic MarketingTrade Show

  1. Lynne says:

    Too bad you couldn’t make the return trip by tapping your heels together 3 times as you say, “there’s no place like home”…

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